Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
