at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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