Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
