I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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