if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
