I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
