I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
