I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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