I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
