oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
