Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
