Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
