Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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