he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i now understand why vodka
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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