I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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