angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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