There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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