please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
