my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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