2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
