i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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