Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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