Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
