Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
