"it" just moved
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
