In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
