Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I need to align my fucking chakras
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
