Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
