Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
