you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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