would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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