You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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