Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love having hate sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
