Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
