We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
