Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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