This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
