im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
