i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
