you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
