Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Fuck appropriateness.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So squirting runs in the family.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
