i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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