HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
