I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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