I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've blown a few things in my day
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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