I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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