The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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