we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
