i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
