It was confusing and full of hummus
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
