Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He has the fingertips of a God
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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