What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
