finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
