Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
