I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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