i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
