I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
