love makes seman taste better
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
