Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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